


Welcome! Everything is Fine.

by RaspberrySwish



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23296483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberrySwish/pseuds/RaspberrySwish
Summary: Katherine Howard wakes up only to find that she has died, and is now in The Good Place. After being shown around by Michael, she is introduced to her roommate,  who happens to be someone of which she is all to familiar.
Relationships: Katherine Howard & Jane Seymour
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	Welcome! Everything is Fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this, but only got halfway through the first episode.  
> You know how it is, I probably won't finish it, but I thought I'd share this anyways.
> 
> All of the Queens are a bit of each character, with a lot of Eleanors, but Catherine (Aragorn) and Anne (Boleyn) are the main Tahanis and Catherine (Parr) is kind of a Chidi like figure (even though they don't show up in this)

“Welcome! Everything is Fine.”

Katherine almost laughed.

Everything was most certainly  _ Not Fine. _

The last thing she remembered… she shuddered. Let’s just say that it was unpleasant.

Katherine stretched her neck.

She had a neck! That was nice. Or  _ fine, _ rather, as the sign would like her to think.

“Everything is Fine?” That was a forking lie, that’s for sure. 

A forking lie.

That was a  _ forking  _ lie.

Apparently, wherever she was, she couldn’t curse, not even in her thoughts.

But like she said,  _ totally fine. _

She had no clue where she was, only that whoever painted it really liked white, hated cursing, oh, and the wall wanted her to think that everything was fine.

Well she thought the wall could shut it's trap.

“Katherine?” a man asked, rapping his knuckles on the side of a doorframe she hadn’t even noticed was there.

She was tempted to shout something rude, asking who he was, but years of etiquette lessons and good manners held firm, and a polite smile rose to her face.

“Come on in,” the man said, gesturing for her to follow him through the door from nowhere.

She stood up, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder- _ since when did she have a ponytail? _ \- and followed him through the door.

On the other side of the door was an office sort of space, decorated nicely enough, a portrait of some young man hanging on one wall.

“Hi Katherine,” the man said, sitting down at the desk. “I’m Michael.”

Katherine quickly followed suit, sitting down in the chair opposite him, and continued to smile.

This guy needed to start talking, and quick, before she started breaking things.

Michael smiled back, and asked her how she was.

Katherine almost made a rude comment, but bit it back, instead deciding to say she was good.

“Oh! One question though,” she added quickly, trying her best to remain civil. “Where am I?

“Who are you? And what’s going on?”

She smirked smugly. Those ought to cover it.

Michael’s face turned serious.

“Right,” he said. “You, Katherine Howard, are dead.”

She snorted.

“I’d be worried if I wasn’t, don’t know how long you can go on without a head.”

He continued on.

“Your life on Earth has ended, and you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe.”

Sne nodded.

“Right, got it. Can I ask a few questions?”

“Fire away.”

“Who…” she said, twirling her finger, “Is that guy?”

Michael turned to look at where she was pointing.

“Interesting that you would be drawn to that first,” he said. “ _ That guy _ is Doug Forcett, a stoner kid from Calgary who ended up guessing a whopping 92% of what happens here in the afterlife.”

She narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“What’s a stoner?” Katherine asked. “Or a Calgary?”

Michael brought his palm up to his forehead.

“Right, right, you’re from the 1500’s, ooh, this will be tough.”

“The fifteen hundreds?”

“The afterlife here doesn’t correspond well with time periods, so we normally just set it to the twenty-first century, about five hundred years after you lived.”

“I’m in the future?” Katharine asked.

Michael shook his head.

“No, no, it only  _ looks  _ like you’re in the future, we find it’s easier for the residents here, Internet and other things.”

She frowned.

“What’s Internet?”

Michael sighed.

“This is going to be interesting.”

“Oh!” Katherine exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “Where am I exactly? Like-”

She pointed her thumb towards the sky, “or-” she moved it towards the ground.

“Well,” Michael said, “We don’t exactly follow the heaven or hell system here,”

Katherine sighed in relief.

“That’s good to hear.”

He gave her a stare and continued.

“But it is safe to say, that you, Katherine Howard, are in the Good Place.”

She beamed.

“Let’s take a walk, shall we?” Michael asked, standing up.

They moved outside, into a bright area filled with the cleanest and most pristine looking stores Katherine had seen in her life.

She was astounded by the lack of shirt in the streets, not a single person emptying out their chamber pot from a window, or horse in the street.

If this was what this place would be like, maybe she was glad she was dead.

“So this is how it works,” Michael said, and she ran to catch up with him. “The Good Place is made of thousands of neighborhoods, with each one containing about three hundred people, grouped together out of sheer compatibility, as well as shared life experiences.”

Katherine bounced along next to him, not really paying attention to what the older man was saying.

She couldn’t believe that this is what the future was like, full of bright colors, and shiny things, and (hopefully) nice boys. With a place like this, she was over the moon to stay here forever.

After a bit more chatter that she didn’t pay attention to, Michael directed her to a grassy area, and she took a seat in one of the many chairs.

Once she, along with the others who had arrived, were seated, a glare of light burst out of somewhere, momentarily blinding her.

She blinked a few times to get the light out, only to find that it had turned into some sort of sheet in front of her, a larger Michael appeared there, beginning to explain more details about where she was, talking about the good people they all were in life, and how everyone knew it from all of the good things she had done.

Katherine didn’t exactly remember doing anything particularly remarkable in her life, but being Queen had to have been good she guessed, and so she just sat there as the movie continued to play, and Michael kept complimenting her and the others.

Her ears perked up when he mentioned roommates.

Apparently, each resident in the Good Place had a roommate, someone that their program, whatever that was, had decided would be a good match for them to live with.

She just hoped hers was cute.

After the presentation had ended, Michael walked with her back through town, passing through a grassy field before stopping in front of a large mansion.

“This,” he said, “Is where you and your roommate will live.”

The mansion wasn’t as big as the palace she had lived in while married to Henry, but it was still sprawling, and the look of it made her heart weep. 

“I love it,” she whispered, admiring the elegant design.

“Oh, that’s not your home,” Michael said quickly.

“You live over here.”

She turned to face where he was pointing and her heart sank.

The house Michael meant was a fraction the size of the other one, and was painted a plain mix of yellow and blue, with little windows shuttered with white.

It was cute, cozy, etc.

But it wasn’t exactly  _ her. _

“My roommate better be really hot to make up for this,” she mumbled.

“Hm?” Michael said, turning to her. “Did you say something?”

She shook her head quickly.

He smiled.

“You know, it was a really nice thing you did for all of those children and impoverished peasants when you were Queen,” Michael told her. “Those kind of charitable things were what really put you here, other indiscretions aside.”

She nodded and smiled some more, although by now Katherine had no idea what he was talking about.

Children? Peasants? She didn’t help any of those people, especially not in her lifetime.

But if that was the only thing keeping her here…

She was starting to get a really bad feeling about this.

The feeling only got worse as Michael showed her inside, her house decorated in what did he call it? The Icelandic Primitive Style? 

Well, whatever it was, Katherine hated it, that’s for sure, from the weird climbing ledge to the jester portraits lining almost every available part of her wall.

Maybe the future wasn’t as nice looking as she had thought.

A few soft taps on the door roused Michael from whatever monologue he had fallen into now without her notice.

“Oh!” he said, “That must be Jane, your roommate. Come on in, Jane!”

The door opened to reveal a woman a little less than ten years older than she was, wearing a pretty white dress that accentuated her blonde hair.

“So not a boy then,” Katherine mumbled. “At least she’s cute though.”

Jane smiled at her, and held out her hand to shake.

“Jane Seymour, you must be Katherine Howard.”

Jane Seymour… she knew that name…

Shirt.

“Michael?” Katherine asked, turning away from her roommate and to the architect. “Do you think there’s any chance that I can have a different roommate?”

He frowned. 

“Our system matched you two up immediately, I’m sure it wouldn’t have made a mistake. Could you give it a try, Katherine? Who knows, maybe you two will have a unique opportunity to bond.”

Katherine rolled her eyes. Sure.  _ Bond.  _

“Bond?” Jane asked innocently. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Katherine took a deep breath.

“I asked to be with someone else because we were both married to the same man,” she told her.

Jane flinched.

“Well, that’s awkward. I assume you didn’t have any sons?”

Katherine for sure thought she was going to kill this bench, but only the threat of being rude in front of Michael held her back.

“No,” she grimaced. “No I didn’t. Although that probably has something to do with being murdered in my early twenties, but who knows?”

Jane glared at her from behind Michael’s back.

It was so on.

After a few moments of curt introductions, Michael left, leaving Katherine and Jane alone in the house to say what they wanted.

“So,” Jane said tensely. “You were his fourth wife?”

“Fifth.”

She made a noise of acknowledgement.

“And how long were you two married?”

“About a year before he had me beheaded for adultery.”

“Adultery?” Jane mused, taking note of Katherine’s outfit, a short pink and black piece that under the gaze of the older woman seemed even more revealing. “Seems about right.”

“You’re a forking bench, you know that?” Katherine said, the words just slipping out.

Jane stared at her for a moment or two, making Katherine stare back, both knowing what she really meant by “forking bench”.

“There’s a party at the house next door tonight,” Jane said finally. “I’ll get ready on this side, while you can have the other.”

Katherine frowned and nodded, turning towards her side of the house, while Jane turned towards the other.

Bonding? Between them? Fat chance of that ever happening.

The two women got ready for the party rather quickly, both deciding that their prior outfits, (where they got them, they didn’t know) were satisfactory, only needing to apply makeup and the like.

“Janet?” Jane asked, as they left the house.

Katherine screamed as a woman appeared out of thin air, followed by a soft ping.

“How can I help you?”

“Who the fork is that?” Katherine yelled. “And where did she come from?”

“I’m Janet!” the woman told her. “And I came from my void!”

Jane shook her head and sighed.

“Weren’t you listening to Michael earlier? Janet here is like a servant, she just shows up when you need something from her, just call her name.”

Katherine nodded.

“Oh yeah, just like a servant, appearing out of nowhere and scaring the shirt out of you, okay.”

Jane ignored her sarcastic comment and began walking towards the mansion, where Katherine assumed the party was being held.


End file.
